


the unseen hand to his brilliance

by ineachandeveryway



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:46:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6040513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineachandeveryway/pseuds/ineachandeveryway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tsukishima walks the path of a tunnel, sees light for the first time: glimmering, star-shaped, just out of the reach of his hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the unseen hand to his brilliance

**Author's Note:**

> This was a piece I wrote for the Anime Secret Valentine event on Tumblr. It's mainly third year Tsukishima reflecting back on some of the important people who have impacted him before the start of the new season (as in of the sport, not of the anime, lol). Comments are encouraged and highly appreciated, as are kudos! 
> 
> Also! If you've ever watched Grey's Anatomy, you know that the title is taken largely out of context, so don't ask me about it, because I know that, too! ;)
> 
> There is also some TsukkiYama in the first and last snippet, if you squint and look /very/ carefully.

the first time he sees yamaguchi, he sees _cancer:_ freckles, fair skin, knobby knees with bruises all over. a battered boy being feasted upon by the fruit of his flaws from the outside in. tsukishima watches for a moment, two, three. considers the advantages of making acquaintance with a flower half-wilted already. he is no fountain, after all. water does not spring from his mouth spontaneously, but rather at the prolonged effects of a moon-whim. (and the moon was never known to rise flora anyway.) 

☾

yachi is different. touches him once and renders him irreparably changed. always a thought, always an emotion spanning her butterfly brain. he has thirty-eight centimeters on her, but no tolerance for a wide-eyed, electric gaze( _—_ like hinata’s). she is unnerving from tip-to-toe yet melting where it matters. fickle hands, loose shoulders; her voice is life spoken into his every part. no fast-fast heartbeat or drip-drip sweat in her presence; just cool words and calm air and a will to _do_. symbiosis, mutualism. it’s all relative. 

☾

the king and his god? a package, a process: annoying; suppressing; infuriating; annoying; tolerable. words too mingled to determine any real order save beginning and end. kageyama’s mark is still stained into the neck of his sweatshirt, if less pronounced. hinata is no longer a god to cower before but an ally with whom to lock eyes. yells across the court; supportive ones, communicative ones. an interlocking network: he, the chest; they, the arms and hands; everyone else _—_

☾

there are reasons dreams are sequestered to the rem cycle: reality, humility, security, _his brother._ the mangled posters and contorted trophies, each a loathing vice taking to tsukishima’s heart. nights spent hidden in his room for fear of confronting a lie, _the_ lie. back curved, knees tucked, hands fisted. afraid, afraid, afraid. to try is to dream, and to dream is to suffer. no gray space in between, no fingers to stretch out. wins and losses _—_ coincidences and cruelties. one moon chose to dream, and in doing so, eclipsed the other. 

☾

it's surprising, the comfort of the cat and the owl. bokuto: wings always tittering-flittering with zest; and kuroo: practiced lounger but energetic pouncer on occasion. both have eyes _—la_ _rge_ eyes that shake him from time to time. “tsukki”is more of an endearment than an annoyance, though he’d never dare tell. feet arching higher, fingers reaching further. there is a sudden desire in himself to do bigger and better. one summer, one court, but _change,_ so much change. a study in bioluminescence, in _him._

☾

first predecessor: broad shoulders, square face, almond eyes. _one_ earns his respect, _daichi_ his admiration. few words pass in between, but the ones that do are the ones that matter. little by little, encouraging hands picking apart the despair. tsukishima walks the path of a tunnel, sees light for the first time: glimmering, star-shaped, just out of the reach of his hands. eclipse: waxing and waning, and waning, and waning. moon-child peering out from the recesses of the milky way. birth and rebirth _—_ one and the same. 

☾

his most regrettable decision, undeniably, is tanaka. too-loud-and-too-emitting-of-light-for-his-own-soul-to-sustain tanaka; living-and-breathing-the-restlessness-of-immaturity tanaka. _but,_ also: relentlessly-hoping-and-dreaming tanaka. unnecessary-but-(perhaps)-amusing-noogies-administering tanaka. not-holding-near-as-much-disdain-for-(and-maybe-even-caring-about)-stingyshima-as-he-originally-thought tanaka. believing-so-much-in-his-brothers-he-might-actually-bowl-over-and-bawl _—_ tanaka. 

☾

sugawara is no caretaker, rather: a means of catharsis. he takes the chicks under his wing and dotes on each in a different way. looks into tsukishima’s eyes, says silently, _believe_ , then moves on. it is no small gesture, this word; simply one to act out over the span of an eternity rather than that of a second. when panic seizes the court, he glances to the sidelines. there, a smile not as bright as the first _—_ the _very_ first _—_ but reassuring nonetheless. more cloud-softened sun than night-sharpened moon. reiterated: catharsis. 

☾

first day back on the court, apprehension and anxiety and _aloe._ yamaguchi next to him, far from the cancer he was born into, healing etched into the bends of his limbs, the dimples of his face. kageyama and hinata behind and on either side, lips slightly parted, eyes blown wide. yachi bumbling endlessly on about motivation, determination, both. flightless crows long since evolved into a mesmerizing murder. the boy who feared growth yet coaxed water from the pull of his own moon-mouth, at the helm _—_

tsukishima kei, 

number eleven, 

captain. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comment!!!!


End file.
